Lost Time..

It's been 4 months since I've written a freakin' blog. What have I done in 4 months? I can't even recall.
What I do know is here I am writing about another death. They say things happen in 3's. Basta! (Enough)

A dear friend died on Monday. He was an amazing voice over artist; who's voice could be heard in more than 5,000 movie trailers. That's a lot of films. His wife and daughters have lost this wonderful man too soon. It's clear how many hearts he touched with his wit, generous heart and charm. I am one of the many lives he touched. I'm feel lucky to have known him.
His wife has as big of a heart as her husband. She too is an amazing talent; a fantastic singer. I pray that she will be able to find comfort in the love and memories they created together over the years. The movie trailers will never sound the same again to me.

A day later, I hear that another friend passed away. She had been fighting colon cancer for two years but clearly the fight became too much. She was too young to die from a type of cancer that usually invades older people. Needless to say my heart is heavy.

The world feels a little emptier now with these two souls leaving the earth. I know they will continue to shine their light down on all who knew and loved them. Restate in pace "D" and "K". Mi mancherete tanto.

Whew....It's Friday.

It was hot today. I went to the Valley this morning to record a voice over audition. There wasn't a breeze whatsoever!! Mamma Mia ha fatto caldo!! I can't believe I used to live in that heat every summer when I lived in the Valley. Okay, I did spent a lot of those summers out of the country on tour. The temperature in the San Fernando Valley can be 10 degrees warmer than the Westside of Los Angeles. I can't imagine what it was like in Vegas today.

The memorial for "J" was very beautiful. I'm happy to have had a chance to say goodbye. I'm still confused as to exactly how she died and what state she was in before she left this earth. It's a answer I wanted very much to ask her boyfriend and two of her close friends who also happened to be my colleagues in the show we did together. Today wasn't the time or the place to ask but in time, I really want to know. The Self-Realization Center is a gorgeous place! I have to go back and walk the gardens since I didn't have time to do it today. I can see why those who spoke of this place to me say that it's worth spending time surrounded by all of the beautiful greenery and taking in the beautiful energy. It was a perfect place to pay a tribute to "J."

When someone dies, I often find myself thinking about my own mortality. As cliche' as it may sound, there's so much living I still have to do in this lifetime. La luna e` quasi piena. Che bella!!

Murky May

I thought we were supposed to have "June Gloom" in June not May. It was so gloomy and cold for about a week or so but today the sun was out blazing. It's supposed to get hotter. In the Valley it was still incredibly warm at 9:30.

What a funky month energetically. This month is already half-way over. I'm happy leave the strange energy behind.

I'm wearing so many hats lately. There are days when I can't wait to get in bed. I can barely finish reading the rest of this book "A Thousand Days In Venice" that one of my girlfriends gave me. I think it was "A" who moved to Roma. With all the chaotic energy that I'm feeling for the remodel on the house I am taking advantage of some moments I have to myself to breathe. Thank goodness for Monday night from 6-8. It's a bit of "Me Time." Time to forget about everything for two glorious hours. This class is making Mondays look really good now.

Tomorrow is the memorial for "J" at the Self-Realization Center. Interesting enough I have never ever been to the Self-Realization Center. I have wanted to take a moment and go so many times. So many people have told me to find some time and just "sit" at the Self-Realization Center. I'm finally going to step foot on this beautiful place that I've heard about for so long. Maybe there is some karmic twist here since I am trying to come to my own self-realizations lately.

Resta In Pace "J"

I got some disturbing news the other day that a friend died. We weren't close but there was this great comraderie that carried over after working together in a show. We first met at a workshop, saw each other again later at a class and then we ended up performing together. As we got to know each other through rehearsing our show, we discovered random things about each other. "J" and I had decided we were "sisters of fashion" because we had similar tastes in clothing and shoes. We shopped at some of the same boutiques around town but our paths had never crossed. As time past, we would just laugh when one of us would wear something and the other would say, "I have that in blue!" or "Did you get that at store "X or Y?"

"J" was one of my favorite people amongst a group of women where too much estrogen was very tough at times. "J" couldn't have been a more positive and she was the person one could count on to get something done. She was a gentle soul. I often thought she gave too much of herself to others; but perhaps she saw the good in them that I wasn't able to see. There were a number of times we had written to each other and said "we have to make a plan for lunch or tea." I lost touch with "J" for a while; however I knew she was working creatively with another friend from our "estrogen group." I was so happy to personally hear from her last month when she invited me to the Opening of her boyfriend's art gallery. I had a previous engagement and I couldn't make it to the Opening. Who knew that it would be the last contact I would ever have with "J" in this lifetime.

When I received the terrible news, I struggled processing the words that I read in this email. Selfishly, I was filled with great sadness and regret that not one of our lunches ever happened. Looking back, I took it for granted that there would be time to catch up. I had every intention of making that "tea date" now that we had connected once again. Too little too late.... The disturbing part is that no one really knows how "J" died. It was said by "E" that she "slipped" off a 10th floor balcony. How does one just "slip" from a 10th floor balcony? In this day and age balconies in apartments are built to prevent "accidental slips." It was also said that "J" had been depressed. I'm sure her family and close friends can't fathom that "J' was so troubled and no one close to her knew of the darkness she had inside of her. "J" didn't leave a note; therefore no one will ever really know what happened. I guess she didn't feel that she owed any explanations anymore to anyone for what she decided to do with her life. I ask myself, could anyone have made a difference??

What does one think about before they make that final decision to take their life?? In some religions, it's considered a sin to take your own life. Is it considered illegal in the USA?? I remember while living in Japan, I saw a man jump into the River and try to take his life. He didn't succeed; however he was treated like a criminal who had just robbed a bank versus someone who was deeply troubled. For those the individual leaves behind; they are left with so many unanswered questions. I keep wondering "WHY J?" It's a selfish act. "J" was anything but selfish. I could spin this a thousand times in my mind but in the end, it doesn't change the outcome of what we have to accept in time.... "J" is gone.

This tragic act was a wake-up call to remind myself to follow through with those intended "lunches or gatherings" with friends. No one knows how much time is left on this earth. Resta In Pace "J." Sono felice di averti conosciuta. Spero di rivederti un giorno.....

Idle time...Idle thinking

I slept in this morning until 9 am. Even my dog slept in. I've been getting up early every Saturday morning for a 9:30 appointment. I don't have to anymore. Yeah! It was so nice to sleep in but now I'm so lazy that I don't want to do a thing on such a gorgeous day. I spoke to my friend in Rome this morning. It seems as if she's been gone much longer than a month. I could hear contentment in her voice; something I haven't heard in a long time until she made the decision to move to Italy. It's no question that Italy is magical if the heart is open for that kind of joy.

Now I'm trying to decide when do I want to make my trip to Italia. I will definitely go between September and October. Of course my representation might be a little angry for my choice of time to go to Italy. Things tend to start up again in the land of television. But I only have one life to live. Besides, I'm trying to create work in other places and not limit myself to just L.A. I was told by a few people to refrain from coming to Italy in November again. I enjoyed seeing the beautiful leaves in the Fall; however my Italian friends seemed to be incredibly busy with work in November to enjoy the colors that surrounded them as I was free to do. I didn't mind that everyone was busy because we made the most of the time we did have together. I'm told that business slows down in December so Italians are cramming everything in business-wise before shutting down for the Christmas holidays.

The NBA playoffs started and being the big sports fan that I am; I could sit in front of the TV this entire day and watch the games. I know that if I get caught up in good game, I will NEVER get anything done. Truth is, I don't feel like doing anything so perhaps I'll just listen to my body and just do....nothing. Oh here comes Guido Panini (photo) wanting to go out again for a walk. Now here's something I will have to do....take the dog for a walk. We won't be outside very long. It's too hot and my dog hates the heat.

Viva Las Vegas??

I had a little vacation in Vegas for just 3 days at the Bellagio Hotel. (Photo: Flower garden at the Bellagio) I haven't been to Las Vegas since 4 years ago. Come va il tempo! (how time flies). Since then, they've built the Wynn Hotel, redone the Palms, remodeled the MGM and have started a project in construction that will cost at least 90 billion. Those are just some of the things I noticed and I know there is a lot more. No offense to any Vegas residents or Vegas Lovers but who wants to live in the desert?? Okay,not me.....BUT...Clearly a lot of people do. This new project in Vegas is about building a city within a city. There will be condominiums and more hotels right on the strip. I have a feeling they may have to make cars obsolete in order to get around just the strip at full capacity. These new "homes" will have schools for children within their communities. Perhaps I'm prejudging this; but it appears to be creating an isolated community on the strip. Why?? Clearly the financial reasons are obvious. Will the children take field trips to the casinos to learn their math?? I met a number of people who had just moved to Vegas from another state. Some were older and they wanted to be closer to their kids and grandkids; while others just wanted a change in their life. Well, Vegas would definitely be a change to say the least. I can see this creates potential job opportunities with the building of so many new hotels and casinos. I do have friends who share this same passion for the desert. According to them, with the right job and if one stays away from the casinos; one could earn a decent living.

The fun thing about Vegas is that one can really get a real sense of various types of people that really exist in America. Everyone from across the whole US come to Vegas. I love to "people watch." Living in Los Angeles, one tends to frequent their choice of stores, restaurants and socialize in certain area. It's easy to categorize the area that people are from in Los Angeles by the way they dress. One can tell the people from Beverly Hills, from Brentwood, from Santa Monica and Venice area in particular by the way the women dress. It's also nice to see that the "average size woman" does exist in other parts of America and they're NOT a size 0 or 2. Okay, I'm a size 6 but I do I have curves. Yeah me!! A lot of the women I saw in Vegas appeared to feel confident even in the clothing they wore; even if they really had no business wearing a particular outfit. But it's Vegas so...Anything goes!! I suppose... I like the fact that these women had a vibe of being very comfortable in who they were.

Another fact about Vegas: People actually eat in Vegas. Okay, maybe too much for my taste. I noticed the long lines for the buffets. The thought of a buffet does something to me. It makes me feel full. I get full just looking at all of that food. I have never been able to really enjoy buffets so I don't bother. I do remember enjoying a buffet at the Four Seasons in Santa Barbara. Give me a menu where I can enjoy what I want and that's it. In L.A. most women are too busy doing the "closet binge and purge" in fear of being seen eating "too much." In Vegas, it doesn't seem to be problem. I remember seeing this attractive blonde sitting at a table next to mine and she ate every bit of her grilled cheese sandwich with a nice size bowl of tomato soup. Before the main course she even ate her share of pork dumplings with her husband. I settled for the grilled vegetable pita but I surely ate some dessert later that night. After all, I couldn't resist a chocolate cake made with the Italian's version of peanut butter called Nutella?? Che buona!!!

In spite of the constant building in Vegas, the good restaurants and my enjoyment of the spa, I much prefer being outdoors. We walked a mile outside to go from the Bellagio Hotel to the Wynn Hotel. It was a welcomed change from the a/c. Give me the outdoors any day! Give me Filicudi any day!! I actually longed for the smog in L.A. after 3 days of breathing in 2nd hand smoke and smelling more perfume than I cared to smell in elevators. I thought one wore the perfume not the other way around.

Not sure if I'll be running back to Vegas anytime in the next month but it was enjoyable in spite of the air conditioning. If the right job came along, well I could be whistling another tune about Vegas. If a friend visited from out of town then of course I'd go back. In terms of living, my first choice would be Italy but for now I'll take the frustrations of Los Angeles. At least I can drive down to the beach to take in the ocean and clear out my smoke filled mind.

Politics

I decided to log on to a site I am a member of to see what was the feedback; because I knew there would be quite a bit written about the Italian elections. All I can say is Mamma MIa! I have never seen such chaos in those posting their opinions of whether it was a good thing or a bad thing that Berlusconi won. First of all I can admit that I am not well-educated in European politics; I do know however that the some of the problems they are having are universal. If you are considered "middle-class" or god forbid anything lower, then the politics are clearly not going to be in your favor. To some people, voting seemed irrelevant and there are many who chose NOT to vote. They don't think their vote will make a difference OR vote with hope that perhaps this time something will be different. I had to laugh at someone who made a comment about Berlusconi being "pro-American" and there was a bit of "American bashing." Now what H**** does it really mean to be pro-American?? Is Berlusconi "Pro-American" in what way?? One would have to read the post to understand why I ask what he meant. The same person doing the "America bashing" went to the University of Santa Cruz; which leaves me to the conclusion that America was good enough for him to attend an American University or maybe he just forgot. It was sad to see people from a country that I am very fond of show this "bitter side." Do they have a right to be upset about who's in power and what that means to them, their future financially or anything else? Absolutely! However it was strange to see this otherwise friendly site being used as a forum to express anger and insults to each other. It's the "italian way" to get so passionate about things so hopefully it was just that...."the heat of the moment..."

It's clearly we have out own political issues in the good old USA with our upcoming election. There was someone on this same site hoping to attract Americans to talk about voting for Hillary or Obama but the majority of responses came from non-Americans. One woman did write and say that she would be happy for either one to win as long as there is not another Bush in the white house. I happen to agree. It's going to take a few Presidential terms to return America to a semi-respected country amongst other countries.